
Some time back an innocent search about Desis and sex lead a curious person to my blog. When I read the referrer I wanted to know what else turned up. And I found
this link. And that lead me to rant about virginity and the antiquated views about sex in India at "
Desi Girls Don't Do It". The whole thing started a stimulating discussion and several people either independently or prompted by the blog wrote about their view points ( Check
Delphic's view,
Frangipani's Take and Big Sky's view
on how loosing it works best for all concerned). Similar views by very different people. We talked about sex and how each person views it, how each person views are colored by religion, society and friends. I also thought that was the end of it.
Until I was going through my tracker data today and found that there were lot of people being referred to from
this page. Curious, I went to the page and found Melody (yup, from the link that made me rant) writing
this.I had started the blog by saying,
"I think that virginity or indulging in sex is a personal choice - and the choice should be made without the burden of society's view. And abstaining because that is what Jesus said, might work for some but not for most, so stop touting that angle."The italics is important since it points out that the individual should arrive at this conclusion on his own and not based on what society is telling him to. And religion pervades the society's viewpoint. So in most cases, how a particular society thinks about something is more than likely to be dictated by what it's religious belief is.
I had added the Jesus angle because I had come across the "Save Yourself For Jesus" opinion in the previous link. In my viewpoint, religion twists the society to think in a certain way. In this case, it goes against the very grain of animal behaviour - sexuality. When religion preaches constantly that sex is bad, save your virginity or that your natural sexual instincts reflect impure mind- young (heck, even adults) people start associating guilt with what are perfectly normal biological thoughts, ending up with warped views about sexuality. They also end up being uninformed and a lot of time unprotected while indulging in sex. This is dangerous to society as a whole. After that I pretty much talked about why is being virgin so important to Desi culture.. Nothing about go and lose your virginity or don't nothing..
NO PREACHING!!What I thought was a nice contrast to the other post. My viewpoint expressed in a way that did not tell another to do or not do something.
The original poster thought it to be a personal attack, and she asks, "
While I don’t judge anyone else for their views, I always find it amazing how many people judge me for mine. Am I not allowed my personal choice too without being accused of ‘touting an angle’? "
I did not mean it as an attack on
her opinion alone but rather to include
ALL those who use God to make a point. I am tired of the religious right stuffing their sanctimonious opinions down my throat. It's
My life - I can live it the way I want to, as long as it does affect your constitutional rights, I am entitled to do so. If you believe Jesus/ Allah/ Or whatever Hindu god you can put here, asked you to remain pure - it is your choice, don’t go about advocating it. If it is what your God wishes for you to do, I am O.K. with it. When it affects teens who would need the advice to go about sexual practices in a safe way, I am going to take a stance on it. It may in future affect me or someone close to me.
Atheist like me don't take to the pulpit on Sundays and preach to a population what to do. We don't preach our way as being the only way to some "fantastically nice place aka heaven". But I have been constantly told by all religious groups how to lead my life - pray to this God, believe in only him, do this or don't do that, you are going to burn in hell if you don't believe in this, gay living is a sin, abortion is killing, stem cell research is against God's wishes.. and so on...
Constantly voluble are the religious right - Not the atheist group. It is only now that Atheist are speaking up. And we ask only one thing - believe what you want to, don't stand and preach to others that it is the "only" way. Because it is not.
I don't believe in a God who dictates what you do or don't do, who protects some but leaves the most innocent and needy at risk, who discriminates between a man and a woman, who has to threaten dire consequences for you to behave in a humane manner. To me such God is a farce.. and hence all religion an idiocy. I believe that. However, I don't knock on people's door and ask them to give their faith up. Or their beliefs. Or point to them that what ever faith they belong to is not going to bring them nirvana. And yet, I seem to be on the reciprocal end of the religious people. Number of "Accept Jesus As Your Saviour" fliers I got in the past month - about 5. Number I or any other atheist handed out - zero! (Before the other religious groups get all puffed with pride- You are all guilty of similar things. I just happen to live in the Bible Belt - Baptist Country.)
Do I think every religious person preaches, probably not. Most of my friends who are religious accept my atheist beliefs. We have great philosophical discussion on belief systems. But for the most part, religious people always seem to have a very one-sided world view. And for the most part, they think they have it right and are prone to bully the world into their way of thinking.
My hope is that one day we will cast aside these crutches, let the word "God" vanish from the world. Then see the world in a calm, logical sense. Will there be crime, war and other horrendous crimes? Yes! Human nature won't change. But at least we will stop invoking a non- existent being as the perpetrator of the blood shed. May be then, we will have courage to look at ourselves and see what really is behind our jealousy and hatred for fellow human beings....
May be just one day, we will use this life for good, because we can and not because we have to..
May be just one day, we will all be human beings..
Labels: Desi, Rant, Religion